


What's The Dress Code For A Kayaking Holiday?

by ExLibrisCraux



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Just let the man go kayaking already, The dress code is informally enforced, Tim has some feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:33:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22341115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExLibrisCraux/pseuds/ExLibrisCraux
Summary: Elias has denied Tim's leave requests. Tim has finally come to terms with this.Kind of.
Comments: 32
Kudos: 118
Collections: The Fluff Archives





	What's The Dress Code For A Kayaking Holiday?

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing is Bittercape's fault, and I am endlessly grateful to her for talking me into, rather than selecting an idea, just doing *all of them at once*. I thoroughly enjoyed writing it, and I sincerely hope y'all enjoy reading it -- especially you, Bits. :)

[CLICK]

[GENERIC OFFICE NOISES]

[SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

**ELIAS**

Mr. Stoker. A word, if you please.

**TIM**

Sure thing, boss! Here okay, or should we take this to your office?

**ELIAS**

I’m... not sure you will fit in my office, at the moment. Let’s talk in the corridor, shall we?

**TIM**

Right behind you!

[SQUEAKING SOUND AS OF MULTIPLE OFFICE CHAIRS ROLLING ACROSS THE FLOOR]

[SOUND OF A DOOR CLOSING, MUTING OFFICE NOISES]

What can I do for you, boss?

**ELIAS**

Mr. Stoker. I cannot help but notice your recent penchant for flouting the Institute’s dress code. Now, I extend a significant amount of leeway to Archival staff in this regard; however, as I have received several complaints from other Institute employees, I cannot allow this to continue.

**TIM**

Not sure what you mean, boss! But as long as we’re having a chat, I wanted to talk to you about the leave requests I’ve been putting in.

**ELIAS**

I have the slightest suspicion these may be related. Go on.

**TIM**

Marvelous! So two months ago I submitted a leave request for a week off later this summer. I want to go kayaking, you see. I miss it. You denied the request, as I recall.

**ELIAS**

I did, yes. It conflicts with... other events and I will need the Archival staff here. And coincidentally enough, the day after I denied that request, the first incident about which I wish to speak to you occurred. Mr. Stoker, can you tell me what you wore to work that day?

**TIM**

I can, as it happens. If I remember correctly, it was a pair of old jeans and a ratty Sex Pistols t-shirt. Oh, and my old trainers! I remember Martin complained about the smell. Quietly. I don’t think he realised I heard him. Don’t tell him, yeah? Wouldn’t want to burst his bubble.

**ELIAS**

Quite. He was not the only one who complained. So. One week after I denied your first leave request, I found myself having to deny a SECOND. Can you tell me, Mr. Stoker, what you wore to work the following day?

**TIM**

Absolutely I can. That was a gorgeous outfit. Pink capris, strappy sandals, a DELICOUSLY sheer blouse, complementary silver scarf. Rosie helped with my makeup, and it was perfect. I wound up buying a tube of that lipstick.

**ELIAS**

Yes, the color looked very well on you, I’m sure. And one week after that, I denied a third leave request. The following day, I received yet another complaint about your attire. Please refresh my memory, Mr. Stoker; what was the outfit you chose on THAT occasion?

**TIM**

The third one... which one was- OH, the third one, right! Had to put that one together on the fly, I really didn’t expect you to turn that one down. Third time’s the charm, you know?

**ELIAS**

I do not know, in fact. The outfit, Mr. Stoker?

**TIM**

Soft ducky pyjama pants (they were a Christmas gift from Sasha!), my favourite hoodie - complete with bleach stain - and sparkly, teal, fuzzy slippers. I won’t lie, I literally just got out of bed and came to work in what I had on.

**ELIAS**

I had suspected as much. And week four, when I denied yet another, identical leave request?

**TIM**

I was scraping the bottom of the barrel with that one, it’s true. Had to borrow it from my upstairs neighbour. Tell the truth, I wasn’t quite sure what a muumuu even WAS, but I gotta admit, I liked it! Nice and airy... you get a good breeze through one of those. Tingly.

**ELIAS**

...tingly. I see. And week five? I should note that slipping under my door a printout of the previous request, complete with a large, red ‘READ ME’ stamped across it, is a unique method of bringing admin to my attention.

**TIM**

Well, I thought maybe there was a problem with the HR software, since I couldn’t see any reason the other requests should have been denied. I thought I’d take it old-school, you know? Just in case something had gone wonky.

**ELIAS**

Your diligence is noted. The outfit that week?

**TIM**

My brand new swim trunks! And flip flops – can’t go about the office barefoot, after all – and sunglasses. I thought maybe sympathetic magic might help my cause. Bring in that ‘vacation’ vibe and all.

**ELIAS**

A pity it was ineffective. Week six?

**TIM**

Oooh. Last week’s was a good one. I admit, I saw the writing on the wall and started putting it together after week three. Those thigh-high leather boots were spendy, but I think they were worth it. Is it cheating that I recycled the ratty jeans? I did cut them off a little higher than I intended to, but the pockets still covered most of what needed covering. I asked Rosie if the pink glitter on the crop top was overkill, but she said the “Sugar Baby” in sparkles across the chest was pretty on-brand for me. Just between you and me, I think she really liked that one.

**ELIAS**

Ah. I see. Which brings us to... today.

**TIM**

Today, boss?

**ELIAS**

Today. Please tell me, Mr. Stoker, just what it is that you feel you are accomplishing?

**TIM**

Well, you see, boss – when you denied my latest request yesterday, I realized that I wasn’t going to win this one. So I gave up! I’ve accepted that I’m just not going to be able to go on my kayaking holiday this year, and there’s no use being upset about it.

**ELIAS**

I see. And so...

**TIM**

So, since I can’t go on a kayaking holiday, I brought my kayaking holiday to work instead! It’s multitasking.

**ELIAS**

Multitasking.

**TIM**

Yep! Achieving a sustainable work-life balance. You’d be surprised how easy it is to get a fourteen-foot kayak to balance across office chairs. Well, the wheelie part. I had to take the seats off, as you can see. A little bit of duct tape, though, and it’s just as good as paddling the river. Took Martin for a spin around the lobby this morning, he said he’d never had so much fun at work!

**ELIAS**

I’m thrilled for you, Mr. Stoker, and for Martin as well. And your clothing...?

**TIM**

Well, it was pointed out to me a couple of weeks ago that swim trunks are apparently ‘inappropriate attire for the workplace’, so I couldn’t wear THOSE. But you really can’t go kayaking in office casual, you know? Especially not in summer, it’s too hot.

**ELIAS**

Ah. And so you are wearing-

**TIM**

Just the kayak, boss! I’m on vacation, after all.

**ELIAS**

Mr. Stoker.

**TIM**

Yeah, boss?

**ELIAS**

I really would like to terminate your employment over this, Mr. Stoker, but you are - regrettably - too useful to allow me to do that.

**TIM**

That’s a shame, boss. I’d hate to have to, I dunno, go on holiday or something.

**ELIAS**

Quite. ...remind me. What were the dates of that leave request?

**TIM**

Shall I go resubmit it for you, boss?

**ELIAS**

I rather think that would be a good idea, yes.

**TIM**

Consider it done!

[CLICK]


End file.
